BackWoods
by MFogarty
Summary: My hand at doing a Akatsuki gone Kitties stories...enjoy!


**I am going to try my hand at those Akatsuki gone Kitties stories...so here we go. I decided to start with the actual naming of the kittens and then sort of jump back to when she finds them. You can give your opinions on how she finds them and what happens.**

**I do not own Naruto or company. Only my Oc(s)**

Lazily, I watch the screen of my tv, half into what's being said or shown. The other half of my attention is the napping tabby in my lap. Mainly all dark fur, expect to the orangish-red patches on it's face. Running my fingers along his back, repeatedly. Causing him to purr. Often, the little guy seeks out my presence and menstruations in the following week since they been with me. Well, him and the big blue tabby, with the strange, angular marks on his body.

The movie playing on the tv, I've seen it, and it's sequels, like a hundred times. Hellraiser. Interesting movie, I admit. All around me, the kittens are sitting and staring at the screen. In...awe...confusion...both? Especially the silvery-white one, though he is more fixated then in awe. On the 'villian', Pinhead.

Glancing between the screen and kitten, I swipe the little guy up. The sudden action makes him yowl and hiss. "Nah uh uh." I tisk, taping his nose. "You like crazy there?" I gesture to the tv and he turns back, to stare. I can almost see the reflection in his purple eyes, gleaming as chains and hooks slice through the actors limbs. Blood everywhere. I'm sure I just felt him shiver, as he is pressed to my chest. "Alright, that'll be your new name." blinking, he looks back at me and I grin. I cuddle him to my chest, he accepts my affections easily. They all do really, though some less so the others. "Hellrasier, that'll be ya name, yah?"

He seems happy enough.

* * *

"I said get back here!" a streak of yellowish blonde passes the couch and heads down the hall. I am on his heel, trying to snatch the little bastard. No use, he's to fast. "C'mon guys, one of y'al stop'im!" I cry, as he passes the his brothers and sister. They all do nothing, at least, until my cry of despair. The large blue tabby turns suddenly and attacks. And by attack, I mean kitty-clothes-line the other and pinning him to the floor, under a foot. So he can't run.

God damn, my kittens are fucking awesome! Swooping down, I yank the line of firecrackers from the blonde kittens mouth then scoop up my hero. "I shall name you Thor, big guy. God of Thunder!" I exclaim, right as there is a crack of rumbling thunder. "That's a positive sign if I ever heard...THE GODS AGREE!" after my little 'episode', I turn to the blonde kitten and squint my eyes. "I should call you Boom-boom...or Tiffany. That'll teach ya." the deadpan look on his adorable face makes me smirk. "Yah, yah." I pick him up and bring him closer. "Always getting in shit...flammable, explodable shit. Not even sure where you keep getting it." a thoughtful look crosses my face. I shit you not, he's smirking! "I think...I'll call you C4. Very explosive, very dangerous stuff." he nods. "So glad ya approve...little shit. You're still getting punished. Hellrasier! You have my permission!"

Releasing the soon to be sorry kitten, I jump silver kitten flies from over the couch, already in the attack position. Class out and ready. He tackles the now named C4 and lands a barrage of kitty attacks. I keel over in laughter. I am not the only one. Multiple kittens have fallen back to laugh.

* * *

I should know better then watch scary movies in the dark, alone, in a stormy night, on a Friday the 13th. Honestly, have I learned nothing from watching said horror movies?! Of course, I ignore it and watch anywho. Wrapped up in a blanket and pillow hugged to my chest. I had decided on _Silent Hill_, this night. No idea why.

Movie freaks me the fuck out!

It just ended, yet I don't move. Legs pulled securely to my chest as I stare at the rolling credits. It will take a moment for me to unwind, as it usually does. I love horror movies but damn if they don't fuck with my head. From the corner of my eye, I see...something beside me. I tense immediately, holding my breath. _Don't turn and look. Don't turn and look. Don't turn and look._

What do I do?

Turn and look.

The dusty red tabby is sitting on the cushion beside me, completely still. Staring at me, with his dull brown eyes. Unblinking. Nothing to even make me think he's real. The light from the tv cast shadows all over him, covering half his face. Looks like just his glowing eye a d sharp ranged mouth are viable.

...is he grinning at me?

"...AAAHHHHHHH!" and I am up and out of the room, screaming my head off.

Needless to say, I dubbed him Silent Night, Silent for short.

And I brought him a damn bell.

* * *

Peering at the screen, yet again, I turn to pin the orange-ish tabby with a look. Feeling my stare, he looks back. We have a mini stare off. I break off, to glance at the screen and watch a moment. Then back to the strange tabby. Has all these black dots on his face. He looks at me after a moment. I go back to the tv. We do the same routine a moment, me witching between looking at the screen and staring at him. The last time I turn, he's already staring at me...is that a vein...twitching in his forehead?

A grin slowly starts spreading cross my face. Before he has a chance to dart for cover, I have him in hand and cuddling him. He lets out a pity yowl. In return, I hear a high pitched one from another room. He's being laughed at. "It's not so bad." I scratch behind his ears and it takes a moment(but it does happen!) before he starts purring. "I think ya'd make a badass Nick Fury." he sits a little prouder in my hand. He would know who the man is, we are watching _The Avengers_. "All you need is an eye patch." his dry look clearly says no. And if I attempt such a thing, he'll claw my eyes out.

Ouch kitty Nick Fury's got claws!

"Ho hum, ho hum." muttering to myself, I look back at all the little kitties. Nearly two weeks now. I've noticed they have an...'order', I suppose one can call it. Fury is the leader, a hiss from him and everyone shuts up. Of course, the only female is like his second in command. Most the time they listen to her, or she'll swat the shit out of them. She is always with Fury. He's just...the king and she, his queen.

"...queen." the thought suddenly comes to me, causing me to blink. That's perfect! Dancing a little in the chair of my computer desk, I spin the thing. My good mood and actions catch their attention. I look directly to the girl and she seems to know what I want. Sauntering over and launching her small feminine body on the surface. "Fucking cats and their gracefulness, meanwhile, I trip going _**up **_the stairs." grumbling to myself, I do _**not **_miss the amused kitty snickers.

Letting out a breath, I bring up Google and type in _Queens in History_. "So, according to your place, in this group," here I turn to see the kitten has gotten closer. I reach out to rub under her chin. "I decided to name you as such. Fury is 'the king' and you, mi'lady, shall be his Queen." I swear she flushed, but only for a moment! "Shall, we shall pick ya name this day, savvy?" her answer, she steps closer and sits in front of the screen. "Ok, let's see...Queen Victoria. Ranked number on. Considered to be one of the most powerful woman in history. Not only because she was queen of the United Kingdom but was head of the vast colonial British Empire." I look over at the lavender kitten and she doesn't look impressed.

"Ok, next." scroll the page down. "_Catherine the Great_, ruler of Russia. Remembered for bringing Enlightenment ideas to Russia as well expanding the empire." again nothing. Hm, this may be harder. "Empress Dowager Cixi." she looks promising. "An ambitious and conservative leader. She opposed foreign influence and supported the Boxer Rebellion of 1900." glancing to the kitten, she looks a tad interested. "Has some promises, eh?" moving on. "Let's see, Empress Wu Zetian. Considered to be one of the most powerful women in Chinese history." I scan the information, my brow rising the further I go. "She actually became Emperor, after her husband died. Ruled the kingdom." I really like that name. I look over at Fury, who was listening then to the female kitten. "Heaven forbid anything happen to Fury but, ya'd take over the group if anything were to happen, correct?" a soft, affirmative meow leaves her. "I think Wu Zetian is the perfect name, whatcha think?"

A thoughtful looks crosses her face, mulling the idea over in her head. Then she perks in her spot and meows again. "Empress Wu Zetian it is."

* * *

I watch the kitten before me, dutifully. I can't help but crack a smile. It's...so fucking funny and...CHIBI! Hellraiser loves messing with this particular kitten. A tanish tabby with black streaks all over his body. His eyes were so weird, red and green. He was pretty quiet but then again, he didn't really interact with me. Well, didn't do much of anything with the others. He gives off a vibe that just screams 'I could care less about you, so fuck off!'

Don't know how the kitten does it, but he does.

He found one of my silver dollars. Don't know how and I wasn't certainly about to integrate him. Currently, he is crouched in a corner, huddled over said coin and swatting at Hellraiser. Who pounces on him, repeatedly. The tan tabby just does that deep yowl/growl/hiss in the chest and smack him around. Usually drawing blood but the silver kitten doesn't seem to mine. Actually seems like he gets high from it.

Shaking my head, with a mild laugh, I move closer to them and pick up kitten and silver dollar. "Hellraiser, I'm pretty sure ya're a masochist." he lets loose a low meow, eyes rolling back in his head. "Yup...masochist." looking to the kitten in my hands and his convent hold on the money, I become amused. A flash of a movie plays before my eyes before I smirk, largely. "I shall dub the Scrooge." he just looks up at me, his little paws tightening around the coin edge. "Chill, I ain't gonna take ya coin." throwing myself on the couch, my feet go up on the table and I settle the little guy on my chest.

The black kitten with the reddish-orange swirl-always loving and hyper-crawls onto the couch to curl up in my lap. Hellraiser hops himself up on the couch back by my head and starts meowing. Something tells me he's insulting Scrooge, especially when said kitten narrows his beady eyes. Sighing, I reach up-without looking-and shove the silver kitten off. I hear the thud of him sitting the floor. "Don't be an ass, Hellraiser."

* * *

Seriously...can kittens be spilt personalities? If it's possible, I am totally seeing it right now. I hadn't noticed it at first, I admit. There are nine others to look after and this one, he just sorta...blended into the background. I would remember about him here and there. I felt horrible about it really. So I decided to spend some quality time with him.

He is a very particular cat. Im finding they all are really. Not that there's anything wrong with it.

No, he is proving to be something much more then what most of the kittens are. Sometimes, he's very friendly and plays with the others. Especially the hyper one. And that little guy will jump all over him. Other times, I have seen kittens go flying across the room. Then he is meowing...at himself! Like he's two different people...er, cats. It's not the other side is violent, just doesn't have the same patience as the other side. It's mind blowing and really noticeable when I spent more time with him. He was very weary of me and I understand but warmed up. They all do/did. He likes to eat the bugs, for whatever reason. Sometimes, I go to the store to buy some crickets(to lazy to catch them)and feed them to him.

Most the kittens stare in horror and disgust, to which I shoo them away. They don't have to watch! With his personality and actions, I fondly call him Jekyde.(Jekyll+Hyde=Jekyll.) Even explained about where the name came from and he walked away with a swagger in his step. Not sure why I bothered talking to the kittens about their names...then again, they've proven to be not normal. That's fine for me, normals for quitters.

* * *

"Kyah!"

"Kyyyyyyyah!"

"Waaaaaah!"

"Hyyyyyyah!"

I love me some old Kung Fu movies. Those old one's, where they have subtitles or the mouth is moving and the words come. Neither syncing. It's Saturday and I always watch movie of my choice. Usually my two bestie's are here to sit with me but both are away. One with family, the other for her job. Oh well. Eventually, they will get back and meet the kitties. Anyways, getting off track. Sitting in the living room and watching a movie. It's not the normal ones, I admit but I got an anchoring for some 3d stuff. So I popped in Final Fantasy; Advent Children.

Hmmm, Sephiroth. He's tasty!

A sudden screech makes me snap around and peer over the couch to see the group of gathered kittens. Obviously, Hellraiser has done something. He is pinned under the all black tabby with eyes like rubies. He's quiet, like Scrooge and most don't mess with him. He has a vibe, though not like the tan tabby. His is more...'Fuck with me and I'll make your life a living hell', sort. Though, C4 loves mouthing off to him. Thor is almost always around him and those two tend to stick close to Fury and Wu.

The black kitten just sits there, no look on his face. Not bored just...nothing. No emotion. Just like Sephiroth...huh.

"What's going on guys?" they all look up at me and my cocked brow. I glance to Hellraiser and smirk slightly. "Whatcha do, Hellraiser?" a pityful yet angry yowl leaves him. "Don't get me that attitude! Ya know this little guy don't react easily. Ya did something to piss'im off." pushing myself up, to lean over the couch. Chest pushed up to the top of my tank. I reach for the black kitten, picking him up with ease and flop back down. "How ya put up with'im, honey?" I coo, cuddling him against me and showering with kisses and much love. "Ya know...ya remind of that guy from the movie." I gesture to the screen. "Sephiroth. Doesn't show emotion but one hell of a fighter." I hum to myself in thought. "Ya like that name? Sephiroth? I think it's very fitting."

Hearing a soft meow, I look to the floor and see the last, now unnamed kitten. With the swirly orange-red face. Fur puffed up to cover one eye. I smile and lean to the side, holding a hand out. "C'mon cutie." happily, he hopes up on the couch and into my hand. I pull him to where Sephiroth is and pepper his tiny face with kisses. "Kittens are so fuckin' cute." resting him on my chest, beside his brother, I stroke both their backs. "Ya know...I think ya could pass as a Reno, little guy. He's pretty fun, laid back, a bit cocky. Has a rebellious temperament and his actions can be sadistic, contrasting his laid back personality." I look at the hyper guy. "And trust me, I see more then ya think. You are quite friendly and hyper but I've seen ya watching C4, or one of the other kittens. Right before ya pounce. Ya plotting in that head of ya's. I'm sure most don't see it."

He just looks up at me, big eye and meows softly. "Don't matter, ya so damn cute!" and back to the loving, making him purr. "Yah...I think I'll dub ya Reno."

* * *

incase anyone's keeping count, kittens are as...

Pein-Nick Fury

Konan-Empress Wu Zetian

Itachi= Sepiroth

Tobi=Reno

Kazuko=Scorge

Zestu=Jekyll

Sasori=Silent Night

Hidan=Hellraiser

Deidara=C4

Kisame=Thor


End file.
